Tragic

cherubesque:

ooo okay ill pretend to be a newspaper agony aunt rn hahah - this is personally what i would want and what i reckon most girls do too so yeah xxx

1. only go on it if you have a genuine interest in her, wether it be just sex or hoping for a lifelong marriage situation, NEVER go out with her if u just think meh when u talk to or see pics of her etc, if she doesnt light up ur soul with yearning just dont fuk with her man and same goes for girls dont fuk with people u arent excited for u kno, like if u dont get that butterfly feeling in ur tummy just bin them off hahaha CHEMISTRY PEOPLE WE NEED IT FOR PERFECT SEXUAL HAPPINESS FUSION YASSSS ❤💕❤💕❤💦

2. make her feel as feminine as you can while making urself appear as masculine as you can, like with the traditional open the door for her pull out her chair for her things; make her feel cared and nurtured and protected in the small ways you can on a date, girls love that shit we want to feel like u want to look after us and we are special delicate flowers you want to bang the shit out of but then give a big cuddle afterwards haha ☺️💕🌸

3. carrying on from the feminine vs masculine thing, when you talk about stuff yeah you can have banter loads but never take a joke too far, like never go over into super deeply personal areas yet, you dont fully know her yet, you don’t know what makes her upset… this goes in the long run too if you have an argument with ur gf do NOT bring up what shes insecure about as a bitchslap as its just incredibly cruel and hurtful and will wear down the relationship over time if u keep doing it… but also make it seem like youve got your shit together, you’re hungry for success and happiness and security in everything you do and even if youre not rn and failing at ur job/life faking it till u make it might work !! as her falling in love with ur apparent hardwork im the fukin tits attitude might kickstart you into actually being that driven working man you want to be if that makes sense ? :) but theres a fineline between being looking driven and hardworking and appearing like an arrogant boastful fuknut, so try not to be the latter ahahaha - and dont lie about material things u dont have! it will always catch u out in the end and you dont want you growing to really like her then having to sheepishly explain you lied and have a Ford Fiesta and not a Porsche or something haha .. i mean tbh me id just laugh at you and be like awh bless but some girls take it to heart like “omg he lied and said he had a cool car so id sleep with him!” then im just like wow dude ur deciding factor on sleeping with him was his CAR?! did you wanna cowgirl ride the handbrake with ur 🐱?? who u dating the man or his motor-vehicle sheesh ahaha xxx

4. Dont try and bring up topics you don’t know anything about to impress her, talk about what ur passionate about with pride and listen to her with eye contact when she talks about her interests too, and remember little details, you never know they might come in handy in the future when her birthday is happening and she will be like omg he remembers from our first date when i told him which very specific very gross randomass pizza toppings are my favourite haha 🍕🍕

5. ummm, just be comfortable and confident i guess last thing, dont force it and dont be awkward which is the hardest thing in the world i feel like its impossible sometimes haha, but just yeah hopefully if you both have chemistry you shouldnt have to worry convo will just flow from the both of you :)

6. topics mostly everyone loves discussing (like i love talking about really deep gritty stuff but some people might get fiery if u start questioning their religion / diet / politics / morals on a first date haha) if ur stuck for any: r aliens real, conspiracy theories in general, pets/animals, places in the world youve visited, what youd do if u was president, fave tv shows / movies as a kid / adult… and did Madeline McCann get abducted or did her parents kill her? 🤔 me and my grandmas verdict: THEY FUKIN MURDERED HER ITS SO OBVIOUS!! xxx